crazy from the heat

i am so horribly conflicted right now in so many different ways. i imagine my head to be a battleground, with all these different women arguing amongst themselves. one second i go her way, the next i go the other's way. i'm a gumby: push-pull-push-pull.living with so many women is exhausting.change is in the air. i know that it's normal for me to be going through this, but it's hard to accept my absolute lameness when it comes to being productive at all. thankfully i'm coming out of it, slowly. the heat was/is making me sluggish, but it's easing up. </p>soon i'll have $250 free dollars and i so don't want to blow it without thinking like i did the $500 i had on my credit card. i'm horrible with the spending shit, i swear. it's so bad. i have no idea why i do it, either.my therapist is wonderful. we did an EMDR protocol on the rape at 19, and i really feel like it's been lifted, it's amazing. i still have such a fucking long way to go, however. that was like, one of the easiest ones to do, honestly, because it was so recent and a lot of it was dissipated by casey's healing powers. :-Pthe way horoscopes are written is awesome. they're so cosmic and beautiful and vague.